So many times I find myself sitting down gloomingly with a glum and unhappy expression on my face, and I have come to realize that whenever I do that, there’s nothing wrong with me really, I have just being accustomed to sitting down gloomingly with that glum and unhappy expression on my face. In fact, when looking at it deeply, I notice that I’m perfectly okay and things are the way they ought to be, the only problem is that my subconscious is filled with worry and sometimes fear, therefore it gives out what it has been given.
So many of us are in this same fix too. Nothing is really wrong with us we are just used to worrying because we have fed it to our subconscious state. Ninety five percent of our thoughts are of worry and fear and a large percentage of them are usually about things that may not happen. For instance, the average man will think that he might lose his job or fail in his business and will become poor and end up on the streets. That is not likely to happen. The average woman will think that her child may fall sick and be hospitalized, the average lady will think that she might never find a good man to love and marry her, and so she will end up not getting married for the rest of her life. Again, not likely to happen, most of these things end up not happening.
The mindset of the average human is unhappiness, defeat or failure with their thoughts full of worry, fear or anxiety. But you see, when you fear something over a long period of time, there is a tendency that your mind will help to bring it to pass. Taking one of the above examples, the woman’s fear comes to pass and her child falls sick, she creates a condition in her mind that hence encourages the development of that fear, because her next line of thought is that the child will be hospitalized, it so happens and then she becomes filled with fear and tension. Her expectations became reality. How you think about a situation may defeat you even before doing anything about it, think defeat and you are bound to be defeated.
Unhappiness also comes from over thinking, over analysing a situation, breaking it down mentally into smaller parts etc. This only gives us what we are looking for—–Unhappiness. A famous minister said “too much analysis causes paralysis.”
I had an aunt, a volatile, and angry woman who always had short outbursts of anger. All she ever did was to sit down on the sofa and stare, apparently lost in thought. We never really did understood why she did that until many years later, in a bid to get her to talk, I asked her for a piece of advice and relating it with her own experience, she explained to me, in her own words, “I always plan ahead, whatever it is I want to, I plan it all in my head,” she went on, “what I’m going to do in three to five years time, I sit down and think about it all, I analyze it all in my head.” Due to this reason, she was always so lost in thought, she never really lived in the moment because she was always “planning ahead in her head”
Sometimes, in fact, most of the time, her mind gets clogged up with worry from uneccesary thinking, and she fumed and snapped at everybody. Worry that had accumulated in her mind over the years began to dissipate her energy. Prior to her passing, she changed and decided that it was time to live in the moment.
Another major cause of unhappiness is unrealistic expectations. When those expectations are not met, we become sad and full of worry. We believe that where we are now is not where we ought to be, we even make the mistake of comparing ourselves with others, we want to achieve what our mates seem to have gotten and we begin to run their races. In so doing, we increase the tempo of our own pace and our thoughts become that of anxiety and apprehension.
Life itself comes with pressure and daily increase of tension, all of that, coupled with our contaminated thoughts distill nothing other than unhappiness. Suffice it to say, that we are the manufacturers of our own unhappiness by constant worry of things that are happening around us and of things that might not even happen, fear of the unknown, anxiety, tension, negative mindsets among others.
In conclusion, another cause of unhappiness is unforgiveness. Ill-will, keeping grudges, hate, resentment, and anger clogs up the pipeline of the heart and prevents power and energy from gaining access into the mind and the body. Unhappiness makes use of our fear and worry as ingredients. Make it a habit to be happy, it doesn’t matter what the problem is just tune your mind to happiness. There are so many problems life creates that dilutes our happiness, its simply foolish to further manufacture our own unhappiness through our thoughts, habits or actions. Happiness is achievable and the process isn’t even difficult, just desire it, will it and apply its formula to our daily life.