Marriage is a very important issue, the rate at which people are joined together in holy matrimony, boys and girls file up to best their besties or stand as men/ladies in honour for the couples-to-be is on the high side.
No one cares if the couples have sat down together to discuss what their future holds and how to sort out their differences. Choosing a life partner is a very delicate issue and must be done with careful consideration, that’s why courtship is essential.
The following are vital signs to note about your husband/wife-to-be before tying the knot, it’s better to give it careful thought and not rush into anything. The warning signs will scream at you but if you don’t neglect them trust me there’s something called a conflict-free marriage.
1. If your partner is not inspired by what inspires you– they don’t have to be captivated by everything that captivates you, they are free to have their own opinions and be inspired by other things but they must believe in you enough to be driven by the right things, just as you are and you both should be able to guide yourselves along the right part.
2. If your success and personal achievements doesn’t excite them- usually, if a friend is not moved by your success you tend to draw yourself away from them avoiding them in every way you can, so also if a partner, a supposed husband or wife to be- isn’t moved by your success you exit the relationship. Such people tend to compete with your success and will in any way they can bring you down.
3. If improvement is not experienced in the relationship- improvement equals less conflict and more increase. How often do you quarrel? Has it reduced much compared to when you just started the relationship? Focus is on improving each other. what has improved in both your lives ever since the relationship started? Is the relationship adding to both your personal developments or not?
4. If they show little respect for others- if your partner constantly trashes the waiter or treats your gateman with contempt or disrespects your colleagues or friends, you better check the relationship otherwise the marriage will turn out to be a major disaster.
5. If minor issues stir up mountains of anger inside of them- I once dated a guy who was unapologetically short-tempered. Every little issue mattered to him, I vividly remember telling him that whenever its cold I didn’t like to take my bath before going to bed. We dragged the issue for 4 weeks. He said night bath should be strictly adhered to no matter the temperature, that is, even if its freezing at night, I must take a cold bath. The relationship didn’t last long.
6. If they show no remorse for past mistakes- one thing is certain, a mistake not regretted is a mistake bound to re-occur, when regret is not expressed, an offense is not far from re-occurrence. If your partner lost money in gambling the previous year and when you met he specifically told you he regretted playing a game of chance, he shouldn’t be planning to throw his money into gambling a second time, if he does then that’s not regret and it’s bound to occur multiple times.
7. If they disregard the council of the wise- When you ignore the counsel of the wise, God corrects you through painful experiences. Unwillingness to listen to wise counsel leads to failure and regret. Does your partner acknowledge the words of their parents or mentors? If they don’t you should exit the relationship.
8. If they dishonour their parents- the issue of honouring our parents can never be overemphasized. Honouring our parents is the first commandment with a promise according to God’s word, therefore continuous strife and dishonour should not exist between a child and the parents, this is also another warning signal.
9. If they ask you to “Leave God out of it” – no matter your religion, God is your first choice, you should constantly seek His face in every situation. Do they only attend church because of your persistent nagging and begging? Then such person simply is not the right person for you because without God’s authority in their life, any hope of a happy marriage is far fetched.
10. If they refuse to set goals, chase their dreams or get a job- Never agree to marry a man that refuses to get a job, if they are depending on their parents finances or too lazy to go after what they want then they are not the ideal person.
Understand that it’s good to look for these signs in a partner but you also must possess the right qualities if you want to be a good partner. It’s good to be the with the right person but even better to be the right person. Therefore, if you find yourself in any of these categories, you should start working on yourself tirelessly.