THE SOCIETY’S PARADIGM OF THE IDEAL WOMAN 1

Over the years, the society has set standards of a ‘real woman’ as they call it, in the past, the woman is defined by her ability to take care of her family and her worth is measured by how pleased her husband is towards her.

This ‘real’ or ‘ideal’ woman is a woman who, irrespective of her background, must aspire to marriage. She is a woman who must submit to a ‘god’ her husband, and enslaves herself to his family. She is not allowed to work, think or have a mind of her own, all through her life, she must live to please the man who takes little or no cognisance of her efforts. 

She rises up before dawn to prepare for his wakening, she slaves away in the thick heat of the kitchen fanning the flames that will cook his food while he lies there sleeping and dreaming on until he’s awakened by the aroma of her meal. 

He gets up from the bed and drags himself to the kitchen to ask for his bath, she immediately stops her cooking and hurries to prepare his bath. When she has finished tending to him, she goes in to bring out her children and prepares them for the day.

Her work never ends, it’s like a cycle of slavery, rotating between her husband and his family and taking care of her children. All the while, not a single moan or complain escapes her lips because she has been adequately groomed all through her childhood.

She has been told that a woman’s work never ends and a woman lives to satisfy her husband even if the man cannot satisfy her. And if she is unsatisfied, she must not be allowed to speak out as it’s a taboo to speak against her husband.

She works tirelessly, just because she has been made to follow some sets of rules put together by certain people, she revers her husband and holds him in high esteem. 

Nonetheless, the husband could be one who regards no effort of the wife. A philanthropist in the society but a stern and superior individual in the home.

The woman is the back bone of her family, if she isn’t there, the man won’t eat, if she protests and refuses to work, though the world will rebuke her, the husband won’t awaken to the aroma of her cooking and won’t have water to take his bath. 

The place of the woman in the society is very crucial. The woman is truly the backbone of the society, an exemplary work of art, an admirable creation of God.

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5 KINDS OF INTERVIEWERS YOU WOULD MOST LIKELY MEET IN AN INTERVIEW ROOM

The fun part of getting a job is the part where you get cool cash at the end of the month. The not-so-fun part is when you sit down for the interview. Interviewers can be intimidating, yes, they were rolled that way, they want to shake your feet till you fall, or make you bolt at the last minute, or worse, pee in your pants. Preparation brings about confidence, if you plan properly, you will prevent yourself from performing poorly and part of the plan is to know what to expect. Therefore, I have summed up 5 people you would most likely meet at the interview room.

  1. THE MULTITASK-ERS- They are interviewing you but at the same time they have tons of work to do, so they ask you questions, and as you answer they attend to the pile on their table, speak to 2 or 3 people, receive phone calls, reply e-mails and do all sorts. The trick is to remain focused and continue to answer questions politely, your interviewer might be distracted but they are attentive and they might just be testing you to see if you are easily distracted.
  2. THE FRIENDLY ONES- Trust me they are all not scary, you might be lucky enough to meet a nice person at the interview room, all they just want to do is to chat and have fun while conducting the interview. If you are lucky enough to meet someone like this, you could try mirroring their mood. Be polite and friendly, be personable and professional but don’t overdo it. Look for ways you can relate your conversations to your job qualifications.
  3. THE TRICKSTERS- These kinds of interviewers are the overly smart ones, looking for who to devour (just kidding). They will find ways to trap you with questions and make you give answers you might regret  because they have trick questions up their sleeves, so watch out and don’t be too forward or too reluctant to answer. Answer the questions honestly and just be yourself.
  4. THE UNUSUAL ONES- The unusual ones ask you unusual questions. Sometimes, the questions might be grossly irrelevant to the job you are applying for, sometimes, they might be personal questions, also grossly irrelevant, just to make you feel uneasy. You can politely ask if the questions are relevant to your job, or you try as much as possible to avoid the questions by giving indirect responses.
  5. THE EXPRESSIONLESS ONES- They keep a straight face throughout the interview. These people are so good, you can hardly tell if you are doing well or not. Humour won’t get you far, as I said before, mirror your interviewer’s mood. Keep a straight face but not an uninterested look, answer questions correctly and give good examples, remain dauntless because you see, they are only doing so to see if you will break.

Understand that you will only be called for an interview if you qualify, and what better way to be qualified than to have an extraordinary resume. So as you prepare for your job hunt, prepare a remarkable resume to wow your potential interviewers.

5 ways you can be great at conversations


Photo credit: Google.com
The idea of having a conversation with an individual spreads beyond just speaking without stopping to listen to what they have to say. Whether they are speaking on a general topic or they have an issue, always listen.

Dialogue involves 2 or more people, therefore every of the party involved must be given the time to speak and to listen to other people speak.

Here are ways you can be involved in great dialogue;

1. Listen to the person – Understand that it’s not just about you, it also involves the other party. So listen as much as you speak, give the person enough time to speak too.

2. Be genuinely interested in what they have to say- Listening attentively alone doesn’t cut it, you must also be genuinely interested in the person. Strive to know more about them, ask personal questions or ask about their jobs or businesses. Do not fake it, show genuine interest. Ask purposeful questions. Meaningful questions ellicit meaningful responses.

3. Don’t be radical or aggressive- Following my earlier example, I mentioned that it’s good practice to ask questions. Such questions must be positive questions, don’t say hateful words, don’t ask questions with the intent to mock your conversational partner. Converse, don’t argue. Arguing is not necessary because you might end up regretting what you’ve said after winning the argument.

4. Respect; don’t judge or criticize- Respect other people’s space and the right to their views, don’t act like you know it all. If they open up to you, don’t judge them but put the person in his/her best light. Proffer solutions, don’t add insult to the injury, don’t blame or judge them. Don’t be too critical over what they say or do and always give people the benefit of doubt.

5. Be ready to share your own thoughts- Share your own thoughts but as mentioned previously, don’t dominate the discussion. This does not mean that you should hold back from sharing your own opinions. Be true to yourself, put them in your shoes, make the person look good without being authentic.

Follow these steps and you’ve scored yourself a 100 in dialogue.

10 Warning signals that tells you your partner is not the right person

Marriage is a very important issue, the rate at which people are joined together in holy matrimony, boys and girls file up to best their besties or stand as men/ladies in honour for the couples-to-be is on the high side. 

No one cares if the couples have sat down together to discuss what their future holds and how to sort out their differences. Choosing a life partner is a very delicate issue and must be done with careful consideration, that’s why courtship is essential.

The following are vital signs to note about your husband/wife-to-be before tying the knot, it’s better to give it careful thought and not rush into anything. The warning signs will scream at you but if you don’t neglect them trust me there’s something called a conflict-free marriage. 

1. If your partner is not inspired by what inspires you– they don’t have to be captivated by everything that captivates you, they are free to have their own opinions and be inspired by other things but they must believe in you enough to be driven by the right things, just as you are and you both should be able to guide yourselves along the right part.

2. If your success and personal achievements doesn’t excite them- usually, if a friend is not moved by your success you tend to draw yourself away from them avoiding them in every way you can, so also if a partner, a supposed husband or wife to be- isn’t moved by your success you exit the relationship. Such people tend to compete with your success and will in any way they can bring you down.

3. If improvement is not experienced in the relationship- improvement equals less conflict and more increase. How often do you quarrel? Has it reduced much compared to when you just started the relationship? Focus is on improving each other. what has improved in both your lives ever since the relationship started? Is the relationship adding to both your personal developments or not?

4. If they show little respect for others- if your partner constantly trashes the waiter or treats your gateman with contempt or disrespects your colleagues or friends, you better check the relationship otherwise the marriage will turn out to be a major disaster.

5. If minor issues stir up mountains of anger inside of them- I once dated a guy who was unapologetically short-tempered. Every little issue mattered to him, I vividly remember telling him that whenever its cold I didn’t like to take my bath before going to bed. We dragged the issue for 4 weeks. He said night bath should be strictly adhered to no matter the temperature, that is, even if its freezing at night, I must take a cold bath. The relationship didn’t last long.

6. If they show no remorse for past mistakes- one thing is certain, a mistake not regretted is a mistake bound to re-occur, when regret is not expressed, an offense is not far from re-occurrence. If your partner lost money in gambling the previous year and when you met he specifically told you he regretted playing a game of chance, he shouldn’t be planning to throw his money into gambling a second time, if he does then that’s not regret and it’s bound to occur multiple times.

7. If they disregard the council of the wise- When you ignore the counsel of the wise, God corrects you through painful experiences. Unwillingness to listen to wise counsel leads to failure and regret. Does your partner acknowledge the words of their parents or mentors? If they don’t you should exit the relationship.

8. If they dishonour their parents- the issue of honouring our parents can never be overemphasized. Honouring our parents is the first commandment with a promise according to God’s word, therefore continuous strife and dishonour should not exist between a child and the parents, this is also another warning signal.

9. If they ask you to “Leave God out of it” – no matter your religion, God is your first choice, you should constantly seek His face in every situation. Do they only attend church because of your persistent nagging and begging? Then such person simply is not the right person for you because without God’s authority in their life, any hope of a happy marriage is far fetched.

10. If they refuse to set goals, chase their dreams or get a job- Never agree to marry a man that refuses to get a job, if they are depending on their parents finances or too lazy to go after what they want then they are not the ideal person.

Understand that it’s good to look for these signs in a partner but you also must possess the right qualities if you want to be a good partner. It’s good to be the with the right person but even better to be the right person. Therefore, if you find yourself in any of these categories, you should start working on yourself tirelessly.

HOW TO BE A BETTER PUBLIC 

Public speaking is the act of communicating information to a large audience. It’s also called oratory, it involves delivering a speech to a live audience in order to inform, entertain or educate. Its also a face to face speaking of a single person to a group of listeners such as found in Seminars, lectures, campaigns, conferences or congresses.

To be excellent in public speaking a speaker must ask him/herself the following questions:

1. Who is my audience?

2. Why did they gather?

3. What do they want most?

4. How can I help them achieve what they want?

Tips on how to overcome your fear of piblic speaking

1. Organize and Arrange- organise and arrange your thoughts in the order that you want it to be delivered.

2. Prepare and Practice– Prepare yourself mentally, write out your speech and rehearse it inbfront of a loved one, and prepare for questions 

3. Give out your speech to other people– letting others peruse your note card is really important. They are able to look at it from their own point of view and give you feed back.

4 Avoid talking too fast- talking too fast makes you breathless and you tend to panick, it also confuses your audience so slow down when you speak and be relaxed.

5. Use the right speech qualities– such as volume, tone, pitch, pronunciation and enunciation etc.

6. Eliminate Tue fear of rejection- let go of the “what if they hate my speech” thoughts, the audience are gathered there to hear you speak for a reason.

7. Create a perfectly arranged power point presentation- this will help you back on track for when you lose your train of thoughts, also it keeps your audience engaged.

Your speech must be arranged into three parts

i) Introduction: this is used to start the speech, it must be interesting and must relate t the body of the speech

ii) The body: this comes next after the introduction and it deals with the subject, support the main points vividly with different illustrations, specific instances, facts and figures etc.

iii) Conclusion: Challenge your audience to a call to action, highlight the main points ofbyour speech and move them to react to your ideas.

How popping business cards can get you the ideal client/contract


Its an established fact that technology has taken over the world. This means that everything is represented virtually, you can send emails, track a client online, pitch a job over the internet etc. But this massive change doesn’t blot out the fact that physical encounters are still in their own way effective. Business cards are small documents that contain the details of your organization, the products you sell or the services you render including other relevant information. They help to promote yourself and your business in the physical world, coming in handy when you need to meet potential clients face to face or find yourself at conferences. The following are ways to get your business cards popping…

•Handle them with care• 

Avoid dropping soup on your cards or having pen marks on them, remember it represents your brand and you don’t want to come across as untidy. Imagine stretching out your business cards fullof soup stains to a potential client, Yes, embarrassing.


•Be creative with them• 

If you don’t design business cards (for a living) ask your graphic designer to come up with a creative style for your cards, choose beautiful colours and font styles, not forgetting that it must look as professional as can be. There are a lot of poorly designed business cards out there so take advantage of that fact and make yours stand out from the rest. Don’t use paper of inferior weights to design your cards, they tear easily.

•Put the right information• 

Adequate information like company name, your designation, contact address, phone number, valid email, company logo etc. Don’t correct an error with your pen therefore provide accurate information and approve it before its printed.


•Keep them with you at all times• 

Have a card holder for your business cards, you shouldn’t start searching your bag while standing in front of your clients, it shows that you are careless or unprofessional and also, keeping them in a card holder makes them look neat and protects from any kind of stain.

•A business card is the first impression of your brand• 

When you make first contact with a potential client, you don’t want it to be a bad impression, so all you need to do is take care of your business cards, use quality paper, beautiful colours and readable fonts. Take care of the details and when giving it out, hand it over with your right hand. Also, don’t forget to give out your business cards to whoever gives you theirs.

What to do when you doubt your dreams

Having your own dreams and vision is very vital, you must always aspire to be at the top of wherever you find yourself. Most of the books that we read and seminars that we attend all talk about how relevant you can become in the society if you are able to achieve good success. But few of them have only being able to teach how to overcome the doubts we may have concerning the dream. The following are ways to overcome whatever doubts you may have concerning your dreams -1- Focus on what you want: visualize it, repeat it, think about the end goal, the gratification and pleasure that you will get after achieving it. This shifts your focus away from your fears and back to your dreams. -2- Ask yourself how: how do you plan to achieve it? What major steps are you taking towards realizing that dream? What action have you taken that moves you a step further toward your dream? -3- Separate yourself from your fears: fear is just an emotion as love and sadness, so understand that you are just being overwhelmed with the wrong kind of emotion. Therefore, you need to recognize your fear and fail to agree with it. -4- Think of what you stand to lose: you have thought about what you stand to gain, now think of what you stand to lose if you don’t work it. The disappointments and shame that comes with failure, and the self flagellation that you will experience. -5- Take a look at your role models: these are the people that are already doing what you want to do and it’s working out fine for them. Study their history, how they started, how they overcame pressures and discouragements, check their processes and lifestyles, their approach and how they dealt with their fears and after that, get into business. -6- Think of what good it will do you and do others: Think of how happy and fulfilled you will be, how you will be able to help others and how you will have left your mark after you are long gone. -7- Ask yourself what the major challenge is: I know that I said not to focus on your fears but this is quite different. Your challenge is not your fear, it’s not even the situation you are in but it’s the attitude you display toward that situation. So what exactly is your doubt? Find out what it is and face it squarely.

Employer Employee Etiquette…how to be a good employer or employee

Am employer is a person that recruits, trains and pays people to work for him. The code of conduct for an employer is as follows

1. Never direct hate speeches at your employees – we are all aware of the way things are going in this country, with hate speeches flying around here and there and tribalism is the order of the day, no one seems to care about how the other parties feel. Directing hate speeches at your employees simply means that you don’t value them or appreciate the work they do for you. This limits their level of productivity and they lose the respect they have for you.

2. Avoid being partial to any of your employees – treat all your employees equally irrespective of their background, qualification, competence or level of hierarchy. If the lowest member of your staff enjoys equality, they will remain loyal to you. Don’t give special treatment to any employee simply because they are related to you.

3. Be transparent with them try to share vital information with your employees, show them the big picture, when things are going smoothly let them know as well as when things are go south.

4. Bond in the friendliest ways – Don’t be too rigid when dealing with your employees, always let them know that you care, inquire about their personal lives, listen to their grievances. Informal interactions on a minimal level brings employees close to their employers.

5. Don’t make romantic advances at your employees – it is so unethical and unwise to make romantic advances at or to be romantically involved with your employees, if they are married, it could cost them their marriages and even yours, it causes disrespect and ultimately low level of performance.

Who is an Employee? An employee is a person that gets paid to work for an individual. Employee code of conduct includes:

1. Never get to work late – always get to work few minutes before the stipulated time. Sleep early so that you can wake up early, this keeps you refreshed and agile at work.

2. Leave your personal work at home – working hours should not be used to do personal work. The time you spend in the office has already being paid for by your employer, therefore, endeavour to do all that is required of you by your boss at that time. The rest of the day till the next morning is yours to do whatever, you also have weekend and public holidays to do your personal business.

3. Do not come to work under the influence of alcohol – there is nothing more foolish and unthoughtful as this. No matter how little, don’t consume alcohol before coming to work, that very little quantity you take smells so much on your breath, it will make you look irresponsible and could cost you your job.

4. Follow professional dress codes – always dress smartly, don’t wear revealing clothes, rumpled or inappropriate clothes to work. Adhere strictly to company’s dress codes.

5. Do not share confidential information with anyone – either they are related to you or not, confidential is confidential and should remain so. You also should not speak badly about your company to your clients.

Finally respect the authority of your boss irrespective of their age or qualification, always carry out their instrictions.

What not to wear to an airport

We live in a world that is so fashion conscious to an extent that anything goes on just anything, everyone is trying just as hard to follow or set trends in the fashion sphere, however, not all places require luminous and fancy dress codes. There are tons of check points to go through before finally boarding a plane, from check-in, to security, passport control, custom, immigration, etc. So instead of dressing lavishly why don’t you just dress appropriately and comfortably for easy passage. The following are some of the wrong clothes to not wear when flying:

1. Tight clothing- like body hugs, tight pencil skirts or leggings; traveling to some countries take longer hours and although the plane is designed to suit you comfortably, it’s not exactly your living room. Tight fitted clothes are strongly discouraged because they restrict blood flow through the body, stick to your skin so tightly that you just wanna yank them of on impulse, save yourself the embarrassment and wear loosely-fitting clothes.

2. Heavy metals (like chains, oversized earrings, big belts and watches, other metal clothing. They can trigger the metal detector alarm and once that happens you hold up the line – huge embarrassment – people then start peering at you like you are a drug dealer caught in the act.

3. Lots of makeup and elaborate hair styles – you might look flawless in the airport but on a plane, not so much. You can’t help but look slovenly after a multiple hour flight, so leave behind your big bottles of beauty products and unessential makeup kits, next, pull your hair in a pony tail.

4. A petite purse – nope! A big purse/carry on can come in handy especially when you need to buy stuff and carry them with you or when you need to pull off your expensive but huge jewelry before going through the security check. More so, petite purses can easily get lost.

5. High heels – we know heels are fashionable and classy, but why make yourself uncomfortable on a journey that lasts for several hours? Apart from falling down when you slip, how will you make a fast exit during emergency? Or how will you run when you are running late? So think about it, no one wants a sprained ankle to deter them from touring around in their new destination.

6. Tight shoes – your feet expand on a plane so avoid wearing tight shoes, wear comfortable shoes that you can easily slip off and on. Sitting for long hours causes the leg to swell so go for the right shoes.

With that said, its not a bad thing to want to follow trends just know what and when to follow them.

HOW TO PLAN AND TAKE ACTION

Planning is a vital step in achieving our set goals, without proper planning, no vision/dream or goal can be achieved. Almost everybody has a set goal, an ideal future or a big dream, but all these are unattainable if you fail to plan. There is a general saying that goes “failing to plan is planning to fail”. Planning also means strategizing or taking command. At the tender age of 21, Alexander the great became the ruler of all greece, he did proper planning, strategized and started to plan how he would conquer the world after becoming the ruler of Macedonia shortly after his father’s death, he was able to achieve that dream just because he had a vision.

-Have a vision- how big is your vision? is it big enough to scare you? create your ideal future in your mind. Live and think as if you are already living your dream. Visualize your goals as intensely and as frequently as you can, don’t stop until it becomes a living, breathing picture in your mind.

-Write down your goals- It has been known that written goals increase one’s resolve and determination to do the needful. The faintest ink stays longer than the longest memory, develop a priority list, have a journal, an address book, anything, that will contain your priority list. That’s the next step, you cannot just store everything in your memory, it may fail you. So if you don’t have a diary, get one. You must always go around with a pen and paper because you never can tell when an idea will jump at you.

-Decide exactly on what you want- The reason a lot of people wake up in the morning and do nothing is because they don’t know what to do or where they are going, they lack determination, they don’t have the drive. after you have decided on what to do, you must also be emotionally attached to it, next, let your goal be personally and mentally secured.

-Research; knowledge and information is power, information is the force with which we drive a vision and it takes information to fully deliver the details of a vision. An uninformed man is a deformed man, so research whatever vision you have created, seek professional advice, it might cost you money but don’t let that deter you. It pays to be fully informed in your field of endeavour and area of interest because opportunities might come knocking at any point. The knowledge you need to change your life is already in a book somewhere.

-Pray; the power of prayer cannot be over-emphasized. The bible says that the effectual fervent prayer of the righteous availeth much. Whatever goal you have set, it’s imperative that you lay it before God, so that He can direct you. Prayer is a potent weapon it can be used to bring our dreams to reality and get divine revelations.

When you refuse to plan, the most important things in your life will be forgotten because you will have dedicated your life to doing useless things.